What's up with gas today?
All I hear about lately is people talking about gas. I thought to myself, "I gotta get in on this discussion". Unfortunately, for me anyway, they were talking about gasoline...not God's humorous gift to the world! So I decided to bring my experiences to you with this blog. Farting...we all secretly enjoy a nice, aromatic, fart...when it's our own.
I'll start with a story from my younger days. Being 25 now, this was about 10 years ago. I was walking home from school one day with a group of my closest buddies. There was 3 of us and it was a beautiful day. It doesn't really matter where we were going, only what ended up happening. I felt a little discomfort in my stomach, you know, when a fart is building and you know it's inevitably making it's way out whether you like it or not. I decided to let her rip. My friends were dying laughing and I would've joined in, for it was a good one, but one thing held me back...I shit my pants.
We've all been in this situation, one way or another, whether we admit it or not. It's how we handle it that separates the men from the boys. So I did what so many others before me have secretly done. I made up some excuse and walked back to my house, shitty undies and all. Once in the sanctity of my own home, I raced to the bathroom and took off my underwear. It wasn't a pretty sight. I had to be quick, for my sister or mother could come home any minute now! I hurriedly wiped my ass, put the undies in a plastic bag, and threw out all the evidence. I was quite proud of myself after changing into a clean pair of Hanes. To this day, no one is the wiser...at least I don't think they are.
Here's some helpful tips in case you find yourself in this situation:
1. Stay calm - Panic will make it worse and may expose your episode.
2. Get home - No matter what excuse you have to make up.
3. Avoid everyone - Get to the bathroom ASAP.
4. Wipe ass/Dispose of evidence - This is key. Clean up and get rid of the evidence. A plastic bag will suffice.
5. Change - Get new underwear.
6. Calmly get on with your day - Pretend it never happened.
Please check back for more stories, tips and news farticles.
Happy Farting.
I'll start with a story from my younger days. Being 25 now, this was about 10 years ago. I was walking home from school one day with a group of my closest buddies. There was 3 of us and it was a beautiful day. It doesn't really matter where we were going, only what ended up happening. I felt a little discomfort in my stomach, you know, when a fart is building and you know it's inevitably making it's way out whether you like it or not. I decided to let her rip. My friends were dying laughing and I would've joined in, for it was a good one, but one thing held me back...I shit my pants.
We've all been in this situation, one way or another, whether we admit it or not. It's how we handle it that separates the men from the boys. So I did what so many others before me have secretly done. I made up some excuse and walked back to my house, shitty undies and all. Once in the sanctity of my own home, I raced to the bathroom and took off my underwear. It wasn't a pretty sight. I had to be quick, for my sister or mother could come home any minute now! I hurriedly wiped my ass, put the undies in a plastic bag, and threw out all the evidence. I was quite proud of myself after changing into a clean pair of Hanes. To this day, no one is the wiser...at least I don't think they are.
Here's some helpful tips in case you find yourself in this situation:
1. Stay calm - Panic will make it worse and may expose your episode.
2. Get home - No matter what excuse you have to make up.
3. Avoid everyone - Get to the bathroom ASAP.
4. Wipe ass/Dispose of evidence - This is key. Clean up and get rid of the evidence. A plastic bag will suffice.
5. Change - Get new underwear.
6. Calmly get on with your day - Pretend it never happened.
Please check back for more stories, tips and news farticles.
Happy Farting.
posted by FartBarker at 9:21 PM
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