tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-160396322011-04-21T19:04:39.612-07:00FartBarkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17597832621375635810noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16039632.post-1125462274587024292005-08-30T21:21:00.000-07:002005-08-30T21:47:15.413-07:00All I hear about lately is people talking about gas. I thought to myself, "I gotta get in on this discussion". Unfortunately, for me anyway, they were talking about gasoline...not God's humorous gift to the world! So I decided to bring my experiences to you with this blog. Farting...we all secretly enjoy a nice, aromatic, fart...when it's our own.<br /><br />I'll start with a story from my younger days. Being 25 now, this was about 10 years ago. I was walking home from school one day with a group of my closest buddies. There was 3 of us and it was a beautiful day. It doesn't really matter where we were going, only what ended up happening. I felt a little discomfort in my stomach, you know, when a fart is building and you know it's inevitably making it's way out whether you like it or not. I decided to let her rip. My friends were dying laughing and I would've joined in, for it was a good one, but one thing held me back...I shit my pants.<br /><br />We've all been in this situation, one way or another, whether we admit it or not. It's how we handle it that separates the men from the boys. So I did what so many others before me have secretly done. I made up some excuse and walked back to my house, shitty undies and all. Once in the sanctity of my own home, I raced to the bathroom and took off my underwear. It wasn't a pretty sight. I had to be quick, for my sister or mother could come home any minute now! I hurriedly wiped my ass, put the undies in a plastic bag, and threw out all the evidence. I was quite proud of myself after changing into a clean pair of Hanes. To this day, no one is the wiser...at least I don't think they are.<br /><br />Here's some helpful tips in case you find yourself in this situation:<br /><br />1. Stay calm - Panic will make it worse and may expose your episode.<br />2. Get home - No matter what excuse you have to make up.<br />3. Avoid everyone - Get to the bathroom ASAP.<br />4. Wipe ass/Dispose of evidence - This is key. Clean up and get rid of the evidence. A plastic bag will suffice.<br />5. Change - Get new underwear.<br />6. Calmly get on with your day - Pretend it never happened.<br /><br />Please check back for more stories, tips and news farticles.<br />Happy Farting.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/16039632-112546227458702429?l=fartbarker.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>FartBarkerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17597832621375635810noreply@blogger.com23